And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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