I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
