Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
