i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
