he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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