Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
