Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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