Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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