Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
