How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
