Slut skills are useful in every country.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
