I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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