Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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