he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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