I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
