He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
