His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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