used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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