what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
