nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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