I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
