...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
