Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
