the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
