Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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