There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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