If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
