she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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