i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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