You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
