OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
