It's Friday. Sex?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
