how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
