is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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