I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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