I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
