I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize