Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
