I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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