The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Randomize
