why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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