it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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