Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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