I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
