So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
