Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
