i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
