i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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