You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
