Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
