I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
