that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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