THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
