I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
