I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
