Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
